-Oser- By Caroline Tremblay

I believed that as you get older, getting out of your comfort zone is easy. That it would be simple, quick and stress-free. With my experience, my wisdom and my good judgment, I would not experience all kinds of emotions! I was royally wrong!

It is not because I am slowly approaching my forties that I can face anything. It's crazy, I don't see myself as a superwoman! Come to think of it, I am one! I don't want to underestimate myself. However…

Why is it difficult to get out of my comfort zone?

First of all, I like the security of the cozy little cocoon that I built for myself. I worked hard, I climbed the stairs to get to where I am. But, there is always a but. I'm missing a little something. I hadn't noticed it at the beginning, however the more the days and even the years go by, I want to get closer to my dreams.

What dreams?

The ones I imagined when I was young and carefree. Okay, my life is not over, I am still young and a little less carefree than 20 years ago. When I formulated them, I never forgot them, even if I decided otherwise for myself. They are there, tattooed on my heart. I realize that I knew exactly what I wanted to be, however in adulthood, we choose what is "safer" for us.

I like the path I chose, I discovered unexpected qualities and became a woman who is eager to learn. Except that for some time, I feel the need to go further, to finally find my X, like everyone else.

Here ! My old dreams are resurfacing!

It is from there that I begin to experience all kinds of emotions! I am happy and I would shout it from the rooftops. Afterwards, I want to turn back and I feel guilty for wanting to leave my cozy nest. That's it ! It's bubbling inside of me!

Why am I afraid?

I do not understand what is happening ! I really want to change, realize myself and become what I always wanted to be. But, as I said earlier, there is still one but. Why upset my current situation? I end up feeling selfish and irrational to dare to think about it!

I talk about it to take the pulse of what others think, just to help me feel guilty! Some congratulate me on finding me courageous and others challenge me.

Who should I listen to?

I end up having a spinning head! I would love someone to make the decision for me. I will back off, as I have often done, however I still regret after a few months. I must continue this time, I must dare this change.

I just went out into the famous comfort zone, which is for me. My head is spinning, just because I dared to put my foot out of its limit. Just enough for doubt to take hold of me.

What's the worst that could happen to me?

I realize that I am afraid of being afraid of planting myself. Plant me! Stupid fear, I know that I am able to get up, I have a cerebral hamster which is a genius to find solutions. Again, I panic before. I keep myself from advancing. And the others ? The others are not me, I must not absorb their fears to them, I must trust myself.

Now is the time to take a deep breath and tell myself that what will happen to me will be beneficial to me. That if I am made to want to reach my dreams, it is that I am made there in my life! I have everything in me to accomplish what I really want. I know I will be able to do more. I have to think about myself!

The famous comfort zone, it is just there to help me, make me secure… but, one last little thing but…

Is she there to challenge me in order to feel alive and dare to be me?